Have you been wondering how to go stone broke?  Is saving money just so 2013 passé? Have you ever wanted to free yourself from the chains of money, housing, food, and basic necessities but don’t know how? Are you looking for adventure and the chance to enjoy the challenges of trying to pay for all of your medical bills on your own? Are you a thrill seeker that dreams of living out of your car, taking showers in public bathrooms, and drowning in debt?!  Do you just not care about affordable health insurance? If that sounds like you, then this guide is for you.  Follow our advice carefully and you’ll be on the yellow brick road to Brokeville in no time at all.

Now, in no way, shape, or form, is this a complete guide to financial destitution. But, because Open Enrollment is coming up, we wanted to touch on the subject of healthcare and the importance of not saving money with affordable health insurance. We know some of you may be thinking about protecting your health and continuing (or even enrolling) in affordable health coverage for the first time. STOP IT RIGHT THERE. Take this guide seriously. With a little misfortune, you may have the option of sweatin’ over your medical bills in no time at all.

Let’s start with number 5. This one is all too easy!

#5. DON’T buy health insurance. Best/Worst case scenario, if you stay healthy and don’t have health insurance, you’ll still get to pay a tax penalty at the end of the year (unless you qualify for an exemption)! That’s right, by simply not purchasing health insurance, not only will you have to pay for any and all of your medical bills all by yourself, but you’ll also get to pay a fine at the end of the year! And this fine for not having health insurance is due to steadily increase over the next few years. In fact, it’s doubling for the 2015 tax year. For you overachievers out there – if you really want to go broke, with a few surgeries or trips to the ER, you may be able to get into some serious debt. Heck, if you start smoking and eating horribly, you may even increase your chances of getting cancer and/or other horrific diseases to drive your medical bills sky high. Not to mention, by only missing a few payments on your maxed out credit cards, you could just destroy your credit and possibly lose your car, home, or other possessions. Sounds wonderfully thrilling, doesn’t it?

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#4. DON’T compare health plans to meet your needs or fit your budget. Out and about, you may find yourself conversing with a licensed insurance agent trying to help you compare affordable health insurance plans between different insurance companies and #getcovered. DO NOT DO THIS! When you are trying to go broke, talking to a health insurance agent is not a good idea. Licensed insurance agents at HealthMarkets are sort of like health insurance wizards specially trained to find you plans that best meet your needs and fit your budget. Seriously, a budget? Abracadabra – NO. Ain’t nobody got time for planning a budget! Stay away from HealthMarkets insurance agents – they could be very dangerous to your future plans of dining out of a dumpster.

#3. DON’T perform an annual policy checkup. You may be advised to obtain affordable health insurance with better coverage for your medications and trips to the doctor. Don’t do this. Some people may even attempt to get you enrolled in better coverage at a lower price, or suggest you actually read your summary of benefits or something crazy like that. Do not listen to these people. Who cares about what’s in the fine print, right? Who has the time to read all that gobbledygook?! This way, you can dramatically improve your chances of joining the poor house!

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#2. DON’T even think about getting a subsidy. Now we know some of you thinkers out there might be wonderin’ “Do I qualify for a subsidy?” and you might be feelin’ pretty smart for having thunk about it. Well Einstein, stop it right there! E=MC Do NOT check to see if you qualify for a subsidy or even take advantage of it! A subsidy, if you didn’t know, is basically money the government gives to qualified individuals in the form of a tax credit to help them pay for their health coverage. A subsidy would lower your monthly health insurance premium and allow you more money for ramen noodles, internet, gas, rent, electricity, you know – the finer things in life. You’re trying to go broke here, not save money! Many people qualify for some form of a subsidy, making health insurance super affordable, so it’s very important that you pay no attention to this. Forget we even mentioned the word “subsidy” and we’ll move right along now.

#1. DON’T use a licensed insurance agent at HealthMarkets Insurance Agency! Last, but certainly not least, if you’re really looking to drown yourself in medical bills on the chance that the unexpected happens, DON’T use a licensed health insurance agent at HealthMarkets Insurance Agency. They will steer you clear of any of this advice. In fact, these HealthMarkets agents have a license and are ready to help save you money and get you covered! They will check to see if you qualify for a subsidy, compare affordable health plans to best meet your needs and budget, reevaluate your current coverage to optimize your savings and benefits, and encourage you to protect your health and fill any gaps in your coverage. Trust me on this one, they represent more than 200 health insurance companies offering thousands of plans across the country – and they EVEN guarantee you won’t find a lower price on the insurance products they offer!!

HealthMarkets reviews 200 insurance companies and has a best price guarantee1, are you kidding me? Ain’t nobody got time for that!

We didn’t mean to scare you with that last one, but HealthMarkets Insurance Agents should be feared, and avoided at all costs as you attempt to destroy your finances with improper coverage, and wasteful spending.

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So next time you’re at the emergency room for that splinter you got using chopsticks at the high priced buffet in Las Vegas, remember, you could have purchased affordable health insurance with HealthMarkets and saved a bunch of money!

You’re welcome.

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References

1 More information about the Best Price Guarantee can be found at //www.healthmarkets.com/information-best-price-guarantee

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